Stop Trying To Be Different!
By Y.Y. Hodakov
A
father was giving his son advice. “When you look for a soulmate, try to find
someone who comes from a similar background, enjoys the same food, music and
books as you do, and, of course, shared ideals and goals. The more the two of you
have in common, the better.”
“That’s
so old fashioned”, said the boy. “Today everyone knows that opposites attract.”
“Son”,
said the father, “you’re a boy, and she’s a girl. That’s all the opposite you
need!”
*
* *
Somewhere
in the old country, a rabbi passed away, and his son was invited to take his
place. The new rabbi had his own style, his own way of doing things.
Some
of the community leaders expressed their concern that these changes were a show
of disrespect to the old rabbi. The young rabbi insisted he was behaving
exactly as his father did. As time went on, and it was very obvious that he was
doing things quite differently than his father, they again approached him, only
to elicit the same response.
Finally,
challenged him with specifics, pointing out exactly what his father did, and
what he was doing differently. The rabbi explained, “My father didn’t copy
anyone else, and neither do I!”
*
* *
In
this week’s Torah portion, Nasso, we read of the gifts that the leaders of the
tribes brought to inaugurate the Mishkan, the sanctuary in the desert. Each leader
brought the exact same items as the others. Yet, rather than summarizing that they
each brought these very same gifts, the Torah enumerates each one individually,
in all its detail.
Why?
Our
sages explain that although the physical objects that they brought were
identical, the manner in which they brought them was unique, and individual. In
representing their own tribe, each leader came with their own personality,
feeling, and intent.
*
* *
You
want to be different? Stop trying so hard.
On
the outside, you might be saying the same prayer, studying the same text, and doing
the same Mitzvah as the person next to you. However, if you fully invest yourself
– your own, true entire self – in what you’re doing, you are already unique,
just by being who you are.
Shabbat
Shalom.
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