“What Didn’t the Rebbetzin Have in Her House?”

As heard at a Farbrengen this past Shabbos, in connection with 22 Shevat 5779

A number of years ago, at a Farbrengen in the Yeshiva in Morristown, someone was telling stories about the Rebbetzin. He had heard from someone who worked in the Rebbe’s house that there were “two things he never saw there; coffee, and Cholent”.

In fact, he had once asked the Rebbetzin, Why is there was no Cholent in the house? Isn’t it customary to have hot food on Shabbos day?

The Rebbetzin responded, “און וואס איז א גלאז טיי?” (Loosely translated, Cholent was not necessary to fulfill this need. It could be taken care of with a glass of tea).

***

Upon hearing this anecdote, one of the Bochrim present quietly remarked to his friend that there were certainly other foods, as well, that were not a regular staple in the Rebbe’s home.

What made this individual notice the coffee and Cholent? Might it be that these were two things that this fellow himself enjoyed, and therefore noticed when they weren’t there?

Is it not only natural for all of us to view things in life through the prism of our own personal experiences, and of our own wants?

***

At Mattan Torah, Hashem “identified Himself” as the One Who took the Jewish people out of the land of Egypt. One of Rashi’s explanations is that since Hashem had revealed Himself at the sea as a warrior, and here He revealed Himself as merciful, Hashem warned them not to think, Chas Veshalom, that there are  two dominions, rather, “I am the same One Who took you out of Egypt”.

In this context, we might say that what we perceive and experience in any given situation is naturally influenced by previous experiences. Having seen a specific revelation at the sea, they have to be warned that this new revelation is still the same Hashem.

(In contemporary terms, we might infer a message: Don’t limit your experience by what you have already seen and heard. Open yourself to more…)

***

As wife of the Rebbe, the Rebbetzin live a very private life. Children today know more about the Rebbetzin than most adults knew at the time of her passing, as even now – more than 30 years later – there are stories being told publicly for the first time, shared by individuals who were fortunate to have personal encounters with her.

The Rebbetzin’s passing on 22 Shevat 5748 was, for many, a difficult event to process. How do you mourn the loss of someone you didn’t know?

Yet, as Chassidim, the pain was palpable, as we saw the Rebbe’s pain.

At that time, Rabbi Dovid Chanzin (pictured above), the senior Lubavitcher Rov in Eretz Yisroel, spoke at a Chassidishe Farbrengen in 770 about the obvious irreplaceable role that the Rebbetzin played in the Rebbe’s life.

Was there anything that the Rebbetzin gave to the Rebbe that we could possibly give to the Rebbe, now that the Rebbetzin had passed away?

Yes, he said, there was one thing that the Rebbetzin gave to the Rebbe that we, as Chassidim could try to give as well; loyalty, dedication, devotion. In one word – Bittul...

***

As we observe another Yahrtzeit of the Rebbetzin, we should take these words to heart, and renew our Hiskashrus in the truest sense.

We should not limit our diet to coffee and Cholent.

We should not restrict our perception of Hashem to seeing Him as, exclusively, a warrior, or merciful.

We should be humble enough to put our own “selves” aside, wise enough to be open to learn and internalize new and deeper dimensions in Torah and Avodas Hashem, and we should have the strength to act accordingly.

Lechayim Velivracha!